Life's what you make it

Funny thing life. You're in it until you die, living away, doing what humans do, hopefully not being too revolting to the planet and its occupants. You can choose when to end it but not when to begin it. I constantly question my place in life, am I needed, am I happy, should I try harder etc. Some days are pretty meaningless- eat, sleep, clean, exist. Others are more rewarding- laughter, conversation, making stuff. At this time of the year, I always struggle with negative thoughts and lack of energy. Days are getting cooler and shorter, colours are more subdued, the garden is dying back for the winter, Jumpers are needed for dog walking.
 Husband chops has started his annual rant at the retail industry and its need to start Xmas in October, Every year he does this but the retail industry doesn't listen, neither do I. Aches seem to be my thing this autumn, new ones appear overnight, fingers are less flexible, joints creak like old ships timbers. My mind is rather sludge coloured too, thoughts that I should banish keep popping up to taunt me. Everything seems such an effort lately.
 Hopefully, some proper cold weather will shock me out of this malaise I seem to be inhabiting. Walking the dog in the cold and wet is a thing to look forward to. He loves it and so do I. We are hardy Keith and I, No nipping out between the showers for us, full on pissing down is our preference! I think well when I walk in the rain, things resolve themselves, Ideas arrive. Keith just chases things and craps, I don't know what he thinks about. Probably leaves. He likes leaves. He also likes cookies.