Me Myself and I

...in the words of Alan Partridge, not Bono. Shitting 'orrible cold was not planned, so the garden has been neglected this weekend, great things were planned, maybe next week. A kitchen planner planned our kitchen and quoted £16k for nothing special, A rethink is being thunk. A lovely Saturday walk was had with husband chops and Keith, Delapre Abbey looked stunning in the sun and a delish bacon sandwich was consumed, Keith had rind and a bowl of water.  I am hooking away at various projects, just need to finish some before I start any more. I am on a yarn diet-my stash will be hooked/knitted up before I buy any more. We'll see how that goes...  I went to Coventry in the week with my daughters and the grandchild. I couldn't believe how much building was going on, it was good to see. We were befriended by a local in the old cathedral ruins. She seemed to have rather an advanced knowledge of heroin, and she disliked my youngest daughter name! Kind of her to tell ...

Dear Lisa,   This is a letter to you to try and help you understand yourself a little better.  Your mental health issues are not caused by your actions. They are simply chemical reactions that you have no control over. You need to stop the self-hate and constant over analysing of everything. Some days are mentally shit, you didn't cause this, it sometimes just happens.    You also need to stop worrying about other peoples feelings towards you. Not everyone will like you, You don't like everyone either, that's fine, it's just life. Other people will also have shit days, unless you have directly caused these days, they are not your problem. If you want to try and help, then do , but be prepared to not be needed. This is also fine and does not mean you have failed. Let it drop.   You also need to stop trying to change your life in a day, and when that fails give up. The things you need to change are long-term habits/problems. They didn't happen o...

Funny thing life. You're in it until you die, living away, doing what humans do, hopefully not being too revolting to the planet and its occupants. You can choose when to end it but not when to begin it. I constantly question my place in life, am I needed, am I happy, should I try harder etc. Some days are pretty meaningless- eat, sleep, clean, exist. Others are more rewarding- laughter, conversation, making stuff. At this time of the year, I always struggle with negative thoughts and lack of energy. Days are getting cooler and shorter, colours are more subdued, the garden is dying back for the winter, Jumpers are needed for dog walking.  Husband chops has started his annual rant at the retail industry and its need to start Xmas in October, Every year he does this but the retail industry doesn't listen, neither do I. Aches seem to be my thing this autumn, new ones appear overnight, fingers are less flexible, joints creak like old ships timbers. My mind is rather slu...